Does bed wetting run in families?

It’s common to hear stories from parents of bedwetting children that they too, wet their bed until quite late. And many can point to grandparents who will confirm that they and other members of the family had this problem.

There can be an understandable desire to trace back through generations to pinpoint the bedwetters in the family in an effort to find a reason for your child’s problem.

However, in my practice, I have come across far more bedwetting children without a family history than I have with. Perhaps there is a link but for many, there simply isn’t.

You might inadvertently encourage your child’s bedwetting

My advice on making connections between bedwetting and family history has to be: beware the self-fulfilling prophecy. A child who repeatedly hears conversations in the family about all the generations before them who had this problem, is going to find it very much harder to change. Their ‘self-image’ (the way that they view themselves) is going be distorted by the evidence that is presented to them by all these bedwetting relatives.

There have been occasions when parents have opened a session with me by saying “I carried on wetting my bed until I was ten years old, so I guess it’s going to be the same for my child”. If the child that hears this is just eight years old, it’s going to be very likely that they won’t now fix their problem any time soon. The idea that this is something that happens until you are a ten-year old, will be firmly stuck in their mind.

Your family’s past of bedwetting does not impact your child’s present

It doesn’t really matter if a whole host of relatives wet their beds until quite late - it need not have a bearing on the present. Whilst it can be reassuring to hear from other family members that they had something in common and that it’s not so unusual, it’s better to let your child know that previous generations did not have the benefit of the latest methods and techniques for fixing this problem, as we do now.

The only person who is important right now is your child. They’re a wonderful, unique human being and have all the resources and capability to be in control of their own destiny.

Alicia Eaton is a Children’s Emotional Wellbeing and Behavioural Change Specialist based in London’s Harley Street since 2004.  She is the author of the best-selling ‘Stop Bedwetting in 7 days’ training programme.  Other books include ‘First Aid for your Child’s Mind’ and ‘Words that Work: How to Get Kids to Do Almost Anything’.

For more details see www.aliciaeaton.co.uk.