Daily Express - Wake Up To Teen Secret Shame
When I tell people that part of my job is to help teenagers stop bedwetting, I’m usually met with puzzled expressions and the question ‘Is that actually a thing?’.
As a Behaviour Change Therapist, I can tell you that regular bedwetting is a problem that blights all too many teenagers’ lives. But, it’s a secret, hidden problem that is rarely discussed or mentioned, so it’s not surprising that few of us know about it. The embarrassment and shame that accompany this problem, means no teenager wants to discuss it with friends or even family members – and parents are sworn to secrecy too. Not only do families have piles of wet bed linen to deal with each morning but also the emotional strain that this problem puts on everyone. School residential trips become a nightmare, sleepovers with friends get refused and for those in boarding schools or starting university, the problem is even worse.
The official figures say that up to 2% of teenagers suffer from ongoing Nocturnal Enuresis, as it’s known, which roughly equates to 150,000 here in the UK and around a million in the US. But as my colleagues in the NHS Bladder & Bowel Clinics will confirm, there are far many more hiding under the radar and these will inevitably be contributing to the high school absenteeism rate we’re seeing at the moment.
A regular bedwetting habit that is the result of a child never having got dry at night, is referred to as ‘Primary enuresis’. Bedwetting that comes on suddenly and randomly, is known as ‘Secondary’. This could be caused by an infection or be triggered by an emotional upset such as a house move or school exams – and is usually a temporary problem only.
In my practice, I work with teenagers who get stuck with this habit despite having explored the usual options for solving it. For all too many, conventional methods such as bedwetting alarms and even prescription medications, fail to solve the problem. Once the teenage years start, the help on offer seems to vanish and GPs will readily admit they have no other solutions to offer. The advice to simply ‘wait and you’ll grow out of it’ starts to wear a bit thin as that magical day never seems to come.
Possible Causes:
It’s often said that very deep sleeping is the reason why so many are unable to wake up in response to a full bladder, but a good night’s sleep is usually the last thing a bedwetting teenager is experiencing. It’s not uncommon for disordered sleep patterns to accompany this problem and late night screen usage will undoubtedly contribute to this.
Likewise, anxiety is not always the primary cause of bedwetting as many children and teenagers are happy, confident, creative individuals who only go on to acquire a degree of apprehension as a result of the problem, and not the other way round.
What’s often overlooked is that automatic childhood habits such as bedwetting do become deeply embedded in the subconscious mind and as we all know, habits can be hard to break. By the time the teenage years are reached, psychological behaviour change methods are more effective at breaking this cycle.
I’ve been successfully using methods such as hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) visualisation techniques and mindfulness in my programmes for many years. Not only do these methods improve the messaging signals in the body but also improve the quality of sleep and provide emotional support at a particularly difficult time.
Top Tips for Parents with Bedwetting Teenagers:
If your teen’s bedwetting has come on suddenly and is persisting for more than the odd night, it’s a good idea to have a check-up with the doctor. Likewise, if you haven’t taken medical advice for many years, speak to your GP for a review.
It’s advisable to remove night-time protective pull-ups if these are still being worn. It’s best to protect the bed and not the individual at this age to encourage improved messaging between the bladder and the brain.
Introduce a digital detox for at least an hour before going to sleep. It’s well-known that blue light emissions from screens interfere with sleep patterns and correcting this, may well solve the problem.
Meditation, mindfulness and hypnosis are highly effective at ensuring a better sleep.
Ensure your teen has a water bottle with them during the day and that fluid levels are kept up as dehydration causes constipation which is a common cause of bedwetting. Girls should be aiming for 1.5 litres and boys 2 litres per day.
Keep a Food Diary for a couple of weeks - fizzy, energy and caffeinated drinks including low-calorie with artificial sweeteners can make bedwetting more likely.
Consider getting mental health support – your teen’s emotional wellbeing will have suffered throughout their bedwetting years.
Alicia Eaton is a Behaviour Change Therapist based in London’s Harley Street and the author of ‘Stop Bedwetting in 7 Days’ and the ‘My Dry Bed’ programme for teenagers.